A Friend’s Monologue

for everyone

I forgive and I forget




She told me that she was just trying when I asked her about our relationship.  A month ago, she dumped me for a certain guy. When she returned, she kissed me. “I love you”, I told her. Again, she left me for no reason at all. For a week I’ve been a fool thinking that we’re together again, but when I called her, she said she was just trying. And I cried as I felt the pain; I became an object of a trial and error relationship.  I just don’t know if other people felt the same pain that I felt. I don’t even know if others have experienced the same thing as mine. But one thing was sure of, I love her, and she loves me, no more…

Many of my friends felt sorry for me, but I didn’t want that. I wanted her still. Even if my heart beats fast as I hide to a corner when she’s coming, I still believed that sooner, she’ll realize that I am a lot better. But the more I ask of her, the more I was hurt. The more I felt crazy to be with her, the more felt dumb. And there came a point, I got so mad at her for doing such thing to a guy like me. Didn’t she know I gave her my everything? Didn’t she realize that I care for her better? In spite of the sadness, I tried to move, but I couldn’t.  They said time could mend my broken heart, but why am I still hurt?

She said she was sorry, but could her sorry heal the wounds in me? I didn’t think so, but when I gave her my smile as I gave her my forgiveness, it’s as if I had wings. The feeling I felt was like I was flying. I was throwing everything in my heart, all the lies, all the pains and all the memories… Yes, her sorry was enough to heal all the heartaches in me.

I’ve decided to forget her and the memories that I had with her, but then I thought, I wouldn’t be here if not because of her. I wouldn’t be this strong if not because of the pains. I have forgiven her, and I’m starting all over again. I have my own life now, and she’s just a part of my memory, I’ve decided to let go of the past, and now I’m free.=)

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