Can’t Help It…

CAN’T HELP IT… Jan 19, ’09 9:45 AM
for everyone




I’ve been through a lot of things, a lot of struggles, lots of decisions, and lots of things unknown. Broken relationships? I was always the initiator before until I found and embraced the real value of a relationship, especially now that I am a believer of its Creator. My family was almost broken even though our parents were not separated. That was my perception for a long time until I decided to forgive my father, and asked my mom to do the same. And eventually, my siblings did the same. Now, I can’t even say that my family is near perfection, but I know in my heart, they are worth fighting for. We are still struggling, trying to survive this life of uncertainties, but there is this certain security in my heart that even if we have nothing to brag about, we still have  hands to hold,  somebody to embrace, a family to hold on to, and God to look up to.

I consider myself a fighter, but not really that strong. I am a loving person but a jealous one. Mind you, I am the worst when it comes to jealousy…There are things in my life that always contradict my character. Name it; it might be me being like that. (= Nanggulo lang… Anyways, I fight for what I want, I fight for what I need, I fight for what I love, but when somebody says “no” to me, I would end up crying, even if there would be no tears in my eyes falling.

As a friend, I know I commit mistakes, and I tend to hurt most of them if not all of them. And because there’s a reality that I can’t change myself, I tried to develop habits like  looking for some friends that I don’t get to be with always, and finding time to be with a person whether or not the person needs me or not. I’m doing this, just to let them feel that I love them. And to return the favor? What I am asking for is a “Thank you” and a hug. Yes, hugs. I love hugs. I love hugging people. I love being hugged. Those satisfy me. Those comfort me.

What makes it difficult to be a thoughtful and caring person is the expectation that all of them would appreciate my gestures. Some would say they are busy, and others would just ignore me when I send them messages when I try looking for them. The reason? They don’t want me to look for them. That’s all. And even if I ask for further explanations, they would just cut the conversation. Well, I cannot do enough. 

And even if I love my friend so much that I am not satisfied when I don’t see that person’s face, I can’t help  but to keep silent and realize, that person is still… worth loving, worth searching for… That my friend, is too good to let go…



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7 CommentsChronological   Reverse   Threaded
xoysuey wrote on Jan 19, ’09
Lab kita Ate ko.. ^^*kiss*
zafinayaffa wrote on Jan 20, ’09
OMG. Ateng! Hehe.. Labya! >hugs
prinzesmaan wrote on Jan 20, ’09
aww..see me!
jpau15 wrote on Jan 20, ’09
well try me! haha

wenk* lab u dawdaw

jomatias wrote on Jan 20, ’09
aww… God bless! You have ONE LIFE TO LIVE. Make the most out of it!
juliusdgdumayas wrote on Jan 23, ’09
**HUG** 😀

GBU ate!

heartchiq08 wrote on Jun 20, ’09
it seems that you have what you were wishing for its just that you find it hard to notice it . so many people who loves you . i mean, they were TRUE FRIENDS.

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