Yes, I was so apprehensive by a rival in affection or favor lately. In short, i was jealous. To whom specifically? Well, later…:)
I am one of those people who usually don’t miss people a lot. The very reason is that I am an unhealthy ‘misser’. I tend to get hurt most of the time. What hurts the most is that the other person is not feeling the same way. So I’m telling everyone not to expect from me, that I would not miss them. And if I would, I would just tell them of course!It’s my prerogative, it’s my defense mechanism…
Friend: Dawin, I miss you! Do you miss me?
Dawin: No,I don’t.
Friend: Do you love me?
Dawin: Yes, of course.
Me being jealous is just a part of me being unsecured. Haha! Yeah, I’m confident in some areas but in special cases, i tend to be so insecure. It’s a good thing though, because i only get jealous when the person is special enough for me to feel such unkind feeling. Weeeeh! i feel jealous to a lot of people actually. No, i don’t envy people because of what they have, but because of who they have. Most of the time, I want to be that person ‘you’ wants me to be, whenever, wherever.
I’m not jealous because I am alone, but because you are, and I am not the one you called. 🙂
Hm, it’s nothing actually.
I can understand things. I want to understand things. I know the fact that I can’t be everything to anyone, not to my family, not to my students, not to my friends. And I already accepted the reality that I won’t be called anytime whenever someone needs a hand, maybe, just maybe, ‘they’ have someone who has a better hand.
Yes, I get jealous when my siblings won’t come to me first when they are not feeling well, but instead would come to their bestfriends first.
-they already know it and I got by… I’m used to it now.
Yes, i get jealous when my mom won’t talk to me after talking to all of them.
-i love her enough not to question her actions. things happen…
Yes, I get jealous when Ate Maan would call our friends and not me.
-I understand that she’s busy and is not always in the mood to talk to all of us.
Yes, I get jealous when I see a friend who says he’s missing me and yet he’s not available for me, but available for his other friends.
-i understand that I am not his only friend.
Yes, I get jealous when our dog would jump whenever Xoy says “Jump!”, and when I say it, he would just lay down there.
-i know he’s not always in the mood, so i would buy him “chupachups’ as a bribe.
Yes, I get jealous when God would bless his children and not me.
-I so love God that I understand that it’s not my time yet, but He would definitely bless me and my family.