Late Blog (march 12, 2010)

Lately, I’ve been spending most of my time with Vi. I dunno if this is wise, because sooner or later we will both be needing another adjustments. But even if it isn’t, I choose to be with her still. Even if she chooses to hurt me by not telling me that tiny insignificant, nonsense thing. According to her, it is so not a big deal to talk about where she stayed the last time she ran away from home, and I shouldn’t be asking about it anymore.

For some reasons, I remembered it again and so I asked her the second time. The third time. I got the same answers.

I don’t wanna ask her about it anymore just because I respect her. Period. But it doesn’t mean I’m not that affected. It does hurt. And again, I need to get by.

I can’t remember the last time I wrote something on my journal. I really can’t find time. Writing. Using my hand. My pen.

Last night I cried. Because of Lou and Berly. They apologized because they expected too much from me. Err, too long story.

I don’t really need a lot of friends, but because I love them, I choose to stay with them. To be their supporter. Even if I get hurt in the process.

And speaking of hurt, Vi blogged about me being mean, and bad. About me hurting her. She accpets me for who I am and who I am not, but it affected me this much because I caused her too much pain already.

And I choose to CHANGE.

Soon I’ll be gone. Soon I’ll bid my goodbyes.

I am just hoping that I won’t be forgotten.

I have learned to love my students. And I have experienced crying because of them. I know somehow, I have touched their lives as they have touched mine.

And just this afternoon, our director told me that other blocks have been jealous because I’m not spending time with them the way I’m spending time with my advisory class. And I know I need to do something.

TWO YEARS. In two years, lots will chage.

Another beginning coms as I start my another goodbyes.

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