On having a Bad Mood

I can never choose what to feel everyday. At some point, I can, but not every time I want to. But I can always choose what to do with what I am feeling.

I am having a bad day, not because bad things are happening to me, but because I feel bad inside. Yes, jealousy is eating me again, killing me softly. On this, I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to have this kind of feeling everyday, wanting to just sleep and crouch on my bed doing nothing but to self pity. No, I don’t want that.

I need to do something, something that is fruitful, something that is not so emo, something that is worth it, something that will make me feel overjoyed.

#1 on my list: Compose a song.
#2: Praise and worship God.
#3: Date somebody who badly needs encouragement.

But I still have my MA class tonight. I still have to do research works for tomorrow’s classes. God please help me.

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Lately i’ve been blogging almost everyday. I can go online wherever I am because of the Opera Mini Application on my phone. Yey!

Hm, I’m bored again.

And oh by the way, Nanan found out this site and she found my letter. Err. I hope nobody gets to read the stuff in here in the future… I’m dead if ever. Oh well…

I’m praying for another job opening which will be a lot better than I have right now. AIE College Cabanatuan Staff are all good. I feel safe here. But the Head Office (people there) don’t know how to protect their people, how to take care of their capital. Kawawa tuloy mga family nila Ma’am Mich, Sir Moses…

Well, I’ve been working here for almost a year and I thank the company for giving me the opportunity of having my experience in here. I think I am now ready to the bigger world outside. Lord, please help me. I need strength. I pray that I may be able to go out of this company and go to another,may all my decisions be in accordance to your will.

Ava asked Nanan early this morning if Cesar and Ate Dawin are really just close. Nanan asked me during lunch what if Cesar would fall for me. I laughed. Just like Marvin, i know Cesar loves me because I am an Ate image. They love me because of our relationship, no rivalries, with limitations. I know Cesar’s feelings towards somebody, and I just don’t want him to feel a romantic love towards me. Its just a bit awkward, and a bit impossible right now. So far, I am enjoying having him in my life, an instant brother whom i can call anytime.

I am ready for a new commitment, but I think commitment doesn’t want to have me yet.

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