Mommylo died early in the morning last November 8, 2012.
Yes, I did cry but only for a while. I know in my heart, I have spent time with her before she left us.
During her wake, I seldom looked at her. Maybe because I’m still not used to seeing dead people. But because Mommylo is a family, I did look at her. I never cried during those sleepless nights.
The day of her burial, a church conducted a funeral service for her. I did cry but only for a while.
We all accepted the fact that that was the best for her. Dying. Everyone knows her condition. She can’t eat, she can’t talk, she can’t laugh, she can’t stand, and during her last moments, she can’t even move, she can’t even see. What’s worse is, we don’t know if she even recognize us.
It is a Filipino tradition to walk the dead up to the cemetery. I don’t recognize most of the people who sympathized with us. While on our way, I did cry and I cried hard. I was mourning. I was questioning myself what I was feeling. Why would I mourn if I already dedicated Mommylo to the Lord? I thought I already accepted the facts. I thought I was ready. I thought I was.
I did cry. Why? Maybe because I lost someone special.
I did cry. I did cry. Maybe because, I loved her so much and yet I wasn’t able to show her that.